as he sleeps..

Pitter patter...little feet and hands crawling on the floor My my, he is getting so big..so fast..10 months..wow..Learning about myself and getting to know him each and every day..Marriage? Shot gun wedding? Elopment? Who knows...but I still smile. Yes, I love him..deeply, deeply deeply, but he still annoys the shit out of me. That's because we are virtually twins. I swear, we speak twin language at times and yet cannot be anymore different in some ways. Funny how it works out huh? Label label label..new makeup craze, excited and feeling creative. Love to love to love....toys on the floor, matching green bib..green, his favorite color. I love Elena, so sweet, helpful, and thoughtful. Yay for blogs, everyone should have one. A tool for creative energy to flow from your spirit. I hate correcting typos, but I would feel weird if I saw a typo after re-reading this and knew that I still hit PUBLISH POST. Boo to that, organized...soft snoring..not from the baby, but from my sibling home from work sick. Cough, sneeze, snot, congestion..we all have the sniffles in the house. My poor baby kept waking up coughing last night, but he hung in there. Starting to teethe..I see a bump, little white cap, so something is coming. Who knows..I might be imagining it though, lol. Crackers, crackers, yummy mess, mushy tushy, bushy hair, lovely breath, formula baby DHA and ARA, that's okay. Break break break. Just writing freely, whatever touches my fingertips to the keys to the alicia to the a-minor. Chris Brown..for reals dog? Are you fucking crazy? Just don't know..just don't understand..why why why? Well, who knows, who knows why WE stay..yes we, as in ME included. Don't ask, don't tell...well, I told, oh well. So I see bright lights and colors, like my newly bought makeup palette, ooh la la, excitement, betterment, improvement, hot mama. Not a MILF..sounds a little gross, but a beauty nonetheless. I need to start planning for his birthday coming up...April 10th...save the date..invitations will be out soon enough. Hit submit, apply, resume, recommendations, work history, experience..how many times have I filled out this info..millions, millions, and billions..still waiting for a call, response, glimmer of interest..patience, patience, and more patience. Typing fast, flying fast..like a plane..air force? possibly...shh..it's a secret. just waiting waiting, pay the debts, pay the bills, stability, benefits, duh duh duh, my little man, angel, sweetness, so cute cute cute cute cute, love to live, love to dream reaching goals. though feeling lazy, determined mentality, somewhat discouraged but letting it go..go..go..fall to the ground..breaking and shattering. i'm free...able to breathe, working it out, sweating it out by running running running, making progress...is what is see true? down another two pounds, making it to my goal. suprised at the two pounds because i'm feeling bloated, must be the menstrual, menstrual, menstrual..that's okay, not complaining. healthy living, striving to be best, not better, but best. loving life and family and friends but missing my girls..ONE LOVE ONE LOVE AND ONE LOVE again to those in my life. Love and miss you all...greatest memories..that night..those times..those parties..those words..TO WASH to WASH and to WASH..love my Siria. Pray for you and yours and me and mine..strength, free, flowing, dropping, swoosh like Nike, up like a bird, bright yellow like Ben Nye, no clue huh? That's okay. Creative nirvana, chaos, but perfect chaos and perfect commotion...amazing how it all works huh. Fingers are getting tired..can't keep up with the thoughts that are coming..just enough enough to touch and feel, click clack of the keys scratch scratch, tightening the laces on my ribcage and strengthening the backbone..stand up for yourself now and forever..don't take shit but be mindful of humility...a lesson learned that still needs to be a lesson learned...not by me..but for others, two face two faced, how does it feel? hiding double sided tape like the ones you put on a flowy dress so you don't ex-pose yourself. open free, open your ears, loud loud loud..like the sound of my child waking up from a nap...but for now as he sleeps, snore, cough, snore cough, i love you son...